How to Get and Keep a Hookup Buddy: Tips for a Fun and Respectful Casual Relationship

Having a hookup buddy is the thing that dreams are made of for a lot of men. A woman who doesn’t expect commitments and is willing to put out is a wet dream that many men have been chasing for years. The fallacy to this is that men think that women aren’t interested in this kind of relationship which is dead wrong. Women, especially the high-powered women of today, are interested in saving time and many of them have put aside their relationship goals in order to focus on their career. Having a hookup buddy allows them to achieve the release that they need without having to jump through the same relationship hoops that men loathe jumping through when they just want a good time.

The key to a successful hookup buddy relationship requires maturity from both parties, good timing and (you guessed it) communication. The better your communication is, the easier this relationship will be to have and maintain.

Finding Yourself A Hookup Buddy

When thinking about someone you want to have sex with, it’s easy to get caught up in their image or your level of attraction to them. While these factors are important, you want to make sure that you find someone that you’re comfortable with. Whether you seek out an old friend or go into this with something new, make sure that it’s someone who isn’t high strung and won’t change the rules on you without notice. The most important rule being that this relationship is about sex and nothing else. While you can be friendly, the whole point of this arrangement is to not have to spend too much time on it.

Asking Someone to Be Your Hookup Buddy

Now this is something which is never easily broached and you would do well to be cautious when asking this question. To be too blunt right from the very beginning is sure to burn some bridges and greatly increases the chances of you being told where you can go. While the basis of the relationship is sex, it’s rare for someone to want to be blatantly asked if they’d like to go sneak into the back room. The best thing to do is to enter into a frank (but not vulgar) sexual discussion. If you can discuss the idea of a sex friend like two open-minded adults both parties will not only be more well prepared for what to expect from your hookup friend relationship, but also will feel like they’re with someone who has put a lot of thought into their expectations.

While we’re not here to endorse drinking alcohol, sometimes it can help make the conversation flow a little easier as long as it’s taken in moderation. Drinking too much to calm your nerves will only end up with the two of you either making a bad decision or one of you getting turned off.

How to Keep A Hookup Buddy

Now this is the tricky part. You would think that asking would be the hardest part, but we’ve saved the hardest for last. It’s easy when in a fuck buddy relationship to let yourself get carried away and focus in completely on the sex. This is completely natural considering that sex releases Serotonin which is the chemical that is brings on calmness, satisfaction and release from stress . Your body is programmed to chase after that like a greyhound after a rabbit. You want to keep things casual though both for you and for whichever friend you choose. If you go at it too quickly and too often, you’ll burn out the relationship and a sex friend relationship which could have lasted for many months will be over within a week.

If it’s someone you know and you have to see them outside of the bedroom, keep it casual. Remember that you don’t have any claim on them and they don’t have any claim on you. The less intimacy you have with a fuck buddy, the better. You don’t want any emotional intimacy in this relationship as that leads to the development of feelings. Instead, focus on that physical intimacy that you’ve been craving.

Following that train of thought, don’t ask your hookup buddy out for movies, dinner or drinks. While you might think that you’re just being friendly, you’re sending out mixed signals to your hookup buddy that could muddy the waters and potentially ruin things for you. Remember, this is a no strings attached relationship and both of you signed up to keep it this way. While there is always a chance that feelings could happen, you should be able to avoid that pitfall (unless you don’t want to) and just enjoy comfortable, easily available hookups whenever you and your hookup buddy are both free.

Key findings about online dating in the U.S.

Tinder is the leading dating app or website analyzed in the survey, gaining significant traction among adults under 30. Approximately 46% of online dating users report having used Tinder, followed closely by around 31% for Match and 28% for Bumble. About 20% of users have tried platforms like OkCupid, eharmony, and Hinge, while Grindr and HER see limited use overall (6% and 3%, respectively), yet are more frequented by LGB individuals than heterosexual users. Additionally, 31% of online daters state they have utilized another dating service not covered in the survey. (Check the topline for a list of frequently mentioned platforms.)

According to a bar chart, nearly half of those who engage in online dating—specifically around 80% of users under 30—indicate they have ever used Tinder, confirming its status as the leading dating platform in the U.S.

Tinder usage significantly skews toward younger users compared to older demographics: 79% of online dating users under 30 report using the app, contrasted with 44% of those aged 30 to 49, 17% of users between 50 to 64, and merely 1% of adults aged 65 and above. Among users under 50, Tinder remains the preferred dating service, whereas users aged 50 and older are approximately five times likelier to opt for Match over Tinder (50% vs. 11%).

According to another bar chart, 10% of partnered adults—those who are married, cohabiting, or in committed relationships—met their significant other via a dating platform. The statistics are even more pronounced for partnered adults under 30 and LGB individuals: 20% of partnered adults under 30 report meeting their current partner through online dating, along with 24% of partnered LGB adults.

Online dating experiences are somewhat polarized, with users divided on whether their encounters on these platforms have been overall positive or negative. Among those ever using a dating site or app, slightly more report having had positive experiences than negative ones (53% vs. 46%).

Certain demographic groups tend to report more favorable experiences. For instance, 57% of men who have dated online indicate their experiences are positive, while the division among women is almost equal (48% positive, 51% negative). Furthermore, LGB users report more positive experiences on these platforms than their heterosexual peers (61% vs. 53%).

A chart illustrates that around one-third of online dating users (35%) have ever paid for access to these platforms, including premium features, with this behavior varying according to income, age, and gender. About 45% of high-income online daters have paid for a service, compared to 36% of middle-income users and 28% of low-income ones. Additionally, 41% of users aged 30 and older have paid to use these services, versus just 22% of those under 30. Men who date online are generally more likely than women to admit having paid for such services (41% vs. 29%).

Paid users generally report more positive experiences compared to non-paid users. Approximately 58% of those who have ever paid for dating platforms claim their experiences have been positive, while only half of non-paying users report the same.

A chart indicates that women using dating platforms in the last year feel overwhelmed by the volume of messages, whereas men often feel insecure due to a lack of messages. Among current or recent users, 54% of women express feeling overwhelmed, while about a quarter of men report feeling the same. Meanwhile, 64% of men cite insecurity from receiving fewer messages, but only 40% of women share this sentiment.

In summary, 55% of adults who engaged with a dating app or website in the past year often or sometimes felt insecure concerning the number of messages they received, while 36% sometimes or often felt overwhelmed.

In terms of motivation, 44% of users cite seeking a long-term partner as a primary reason for using dating services, while 40% aim to date casually. Fewer users pursued casual sex (24%) or sought new friends (22%).

Interestingly, men in recent dating platform use are significantly more inclined than women to prioritize casual sex as a key motivation (31% vs. 13%), with no notable gender disparities for the other reasons provided in the survey.

A pie chart indicates that about 42% of U.S. adults feel online dating has eased the search for a long-term partner, whereas 22% believe it has made it harder. Approximately 32% see no difference.

Younger adults are less readily convinced that online dating simplifies partner searches than older adults. This demographic shows a more split view, with 35% of those aged 18-29 believing it easier, while 33% think it has made finding partners harder.

Concerning options on dating platforms, 43% of adults feel that the variety is just right, while 37% believe there are too many choices, and only 13% feel there aren't enough.

A bar chart reflects that skepticism abounds regarding dating algorithms predicting love; roughly 21% of adults think these systems can forecast romantic connections, while larger proportions either disagree (35%) or are uncertain (43%).

Opinions are divided on the safety of online dating, and a substantial majority favors implementing background checks before profile creation. Currently, 48% of U.S. adults think online dating is generally a safe approach to meeting people, a slight decline from 2019, when it was 53%. Women are more inclined than men to express concerns about online dating safety.

Age-related differences emerge as well: 62% of seniors (65+) deem online dating unsafe, contrasting with 53% of those aged 50 to 64 and 42% of adults younger than 50. Notably, 57% of individuals who have never used dating services perceive them as unsafe, compared to just 32% of users.

Simultaneously, 60% of Americans advocate for mandatory background checks prior to profile creation, while 15% oppose and 24% are uncertain. Women and older adults show stronger support for these checks compared to younger cohorts.

Interestingly, among online dating users, support for background checks isn't as robust—47% favor such requirements, compared to 65% of non-users.

Younger women who navigate dating platforms often face unwanted interactions. A notable 56% of women under 50 who have engaged with these sites report receiving unsolicited sexually explicit messages or images, with around 43% experiencing continued unwanted contact and 37% having been insulted. Roughly 11% of this demographic have faced threats of physical harm. These experiences are less prevalent among older women and men of any age.

Among all online dating users, 38% report having received unsolicited sexually explicit content, 30% have dealt with ongoing unwanted contact, 24% have been subjected to offensive names, and 6% have experienced threats.

Moreover, half of those who have utilized dating services (52%) suspect they have encountered someone attempting to scam them. This perception is particularly pronounced among men under 50, with 63% believing they faced scammers on dating platforms. Lower proportions of men aged 50 and above (47%) and women (44%) express the same